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Post 7: August, 2014 to December, 2015. Posted May 30, 2018

First some information to help explain up coming conversations between M/J, Moma and me:

On January 27th, 1998, about 2 years after Jeremy and I had begun our automatic writing communication, I asked him if he knew when I should, or would, die.  He immediately wrote May 22, 2022.   I was a little disappointed.  I actually wanted it to be sooner.  Like probably all parents grieving the loss of a child, I frequently bordered on suicidal wanting to be with my son.  However, a couple of days later I started adding up dates.  I had been born at 4:00 pm on November 21st, 1944.  On May 22nd, 2022 at 4:00 am I would have been around the sun in this physical body exactly 77 and 1/2 times and facing exactly opposite from where my body detached from my mother’s.  What perfect timing !  I did not include this information in my book, From Jeremy With Love, because I feared that, if I did not die as predicted, some would consider it  “proof” that everything I’ve experienced and written about is a lie.   I know that that date for my disincar may be totally wrong.  I consider it more likely only an “auspicious” date but have decided to live my life to be prepared to die then anyway.  If I live longer, I’ll consider it free time and just enjoy it as much as an old man can!

Second factor:  On June 22, 2010 I underwent six vessel coronary bypass.  The vasculature through the rest of my body seems to be just fine.  Only my coronaries decided to clog up.  My cardiology friends and I agree that after six vessel bypass there is very little to be done should they clog again and  May, 2022 will be about 12 years post surgery which is a pretty good expectancy.

The third factor:  In 1994 I made a pilgrimage through India with Sadguru Sant Keshavadas and about 50 American devotees.  As part of the experience we were all baptized by Santji in the clear cold water of the Ganges as it was coming out of the mountains into the foothills just outside of Uttarkashi (love Uttarkashi!)   To each of us Santji gave a bit of personal benediction.  To me he said, “You will have one more life after this and you will live it as a saint.”  I, always the skeptic, caught a chance to speak with Sant Keshavadas alone that evening and asked if he told everyone  the same thing or something similar.  He answered that he had no idea what he told anyone—that the words just came out only for us and he didn’t remember them.  I don’t know if that was only a good story from an itinerant guru but I decided that no one would be hurt if I considered his prediction a possibility.  At first I thought being a saint to be a honor.  Later I realized that it’s not.  It is essentially agreeing to live your life totally for others and has a good chance to not be much fun!

So these are my personal factors that came into play in my interactions with Moma and M/J as we considered their reincarnation plans over the next year.

 

In August, 2014, when M/J and Moma told me they both wanted to reincarnate, I explained my desire to die and then reincar close behind them,  maybe to be a little brother or friend.  I told them about the possible “saint thing” and that I felt I would need a support group.  They both indicated that they were willing to help me if needed.  We ended that writing with them planning to speak with the PTB.  I requested that I be advised where they might reincar so, hopefully, I could join them.   I have no idea if it is possible or acceptable to request a particular reincar but saw no reason to not request.

On August 19th. M/J and Moma had not spoken with the PTB so I agreed to speak for them.  I questioned if they (M/J and Moma) would consider putting off reincar for 2 years to bring them closer to my disincar.   M/J was okay with that but when we wrote on the 21st., after they had thought and discussed, they decided that they wanted to reincar “now.”  I noted on September 11th. that I had spoken/prayed to the PTB requesting a good reincar for M/J and Moma.  I think they had made contact also.

On September 22nd. M/J was here, Moma not here.  I understood she was again upset with M/J.  From then until the end of the year there was little writing of substance.   We continued to meet twice most weeks, writing small talk…”How are you?”  “Okay.”  “Is there any other beings here with us?”  “No.”,  etc…, while waiting for a response from the PTB.  In mid December, 2014, M/J again asked me to speak to the PTB.   I told him I would but “no guarantees.”   On the 23rd. M/J wrote that he recognized the possibility that he and Moma may continue disincar until I joined them in 2022.  On the 30th.  he wrote that (in our group) I am a leader, he is just behind me and many others are following.  I don’t know if there is any truth in that or if he was only trying understand his Moma’s situation and place me in a position of responsibility.

In early February, 2015, M/J and Moma finally met with the PTB.  They came back understanding that it may be another 10 years before they would reincar.  Then on February 17th. M/J wrote that the PTB said that I would die May 22, 2016.  He had no idea why.   I told M/J, fine, I’m ready and  I would start getting my affairs together.  He also understood that he, Moma and I should remain disincar for another 10 years.  I speculated that perhaps we would be receiving some training from the PTB during that time or that, maybe, 10 years later would be a more auspicious time to reincar.  In writings over the next couple of months M/J suggested that multiple beings were to come together in the next 10 years, there was to be a war and battles, etc., etc.  It began to sound like a sci-fi book of Revelations.  I was beginning to wonder if we were in some fantasy realm.

Then on April 23, 2015, M/J wrote that the PTB were now saying that I was to disincar on May 22, 2015! less then a month away.  And, I was leaving on a trip to England and Ireland with friends in the middle of that month…. All very confusing.  On May 12th. I found that Moma had not been aware of my impending disincar and M/J became a bit unsure.  I decided to assume that May 22, 2015 might be a nice day for my disincar but it also may require my acceptance rather then be already decided.  On May 14th, I found that the PTB were not insistent that I leave my body on the 22nd but that M/J wanted me to.  I explained to him that, if I’m not needed disincar, he and I may do better work if we’re on both sides, incar and disincar.  I also questioned to myself if the being I had been writing with as M/J during this time actually was M/J.

We passed the of May 22nd. “crisis” date without incident!   I don’t expect I’ll ever know what was going on with M/J during those first months of 2015.  Had he misunderstood some communication with the PTB?  Was he being disruptive because of immaturity or jealousy?  Did he truly want me to join him and Moma in the disincar part of out universe?   Was the story of my being a leader of some group only a ruse to get gain some favor?  Interestingly, none of these scenarios fit the Jeremy I had known.  But they might have fit the Michael he had been in his last life.

 

Another aside:   On February 26th, 2015 I noted that I had often thought what my arm and hand were about to write just a split second before M/J or Moma wrote it.  It was like their words registered in my mind before writing.  This, of course, made me question if possibly I was creating everything in “our” interactions.  I tried to figure out  ways to test if I was interacting with other beings or deluding myself…. Like a Turing test for artificial intelligence.  However, I did not find questions that I could not have been creating the answers to since I was the creator and presenter of the question.  I did ask M/J about this.  He wrote that sometimes a part of our thoughts are disincarnate beings talking to us.   So, perhaps I need to learn to pay closer attention to my thoughts?  Perhaps consciousnesses do communicate telepatically?  And perhaps I’m having auditory hallucinations?  I may never know but I will consider any possibility.  This is one of the facets in this experience where belief and faith provided the only acceptable resolution.   ( A couple of years later, on June 16, 2017, I asked M/J to write something I would not expect.  He immediately wrote “I am Jeremy.”  This was a real surprise to me since he had no memory of being Jeremy and had resisted being called Jeremy.)

 

On May 28th Moma again was gone after a conflict with M/J.  On June 2nd.  they were both here but not together.  She wrote that she was okay but did not want to reunite with M/J.  He complained that they had “no friends in common.”  On June 4th M/J acknowledged that Moma may have some valid points.  I advised him to tell her that and to apologize for not accepting it earlier.  I was sorta forced into doing couples counseling!    On June 8th.  M/J and Moma were back together.  I suspected that their conflict may have had to do with M/J’s push for me to disincar the previous May so I spoke to the PTB, accepting full responsibility for my interpretation of M/J’s reports, and asking that we be allowed to continue to write together.   On July 2nd.  Moma wrote that she still expected me to disincar in 2016 as per the earlier prediction.

On July 20, 2015 M/J cryptically asked, “To whom do I owe gratitude?”  This would have been a typical teenage Jeremy question to be followed by an in depth discussion.   I admit that, in answering, I got into my own personal beliefs and philosophy.  I plan to discuss this question in detail in Summary Posts.

On July 28th, M/J wrote that he had been with other friends.  I questioned what they talked about.  Reply was “Olympic gods.” (??)  Eh,  could be!

By September Moma and M/J seem to have made up.  On the 3rd they were both “Okay” and had been “worshiping” together.   Same was reported on 8th.  Also on the 8th they acknowledged that homosexual relationships and worship occurred among disincars and (seemed to be) okay.

On September 15th M/J and Moma reported that the PTB agreed for them to reincar but that no time frame was given.  But by the 29th the PTB had offered Moma a reincar “now.”  No details were given re stage of development of the new body or location.  I could only advise Moma to “do whatever she wants.”  On October 6th I noted that there had been no further word from the PTB but we were still expecting Moma to reincar.  M/J was worried about being alone.

On October 9th, 2015 I returned to my meditation room to write after visiting with friends at my neighborhood bar.  I was a bit drunk, depressed and vulnerable.  I too was dealing with our impending loss of Moma.    M/J was here.  I felt such love and caring from him that I had not felt since he was Jeremy child.  A wonderful experience I needed at that time.

On October 20th Moma was with her new body.  M/J was here and feeling lonely.  I sent him love as best I could.

On November 3rd. Moma was back with us.  We had a long discussion re her new body, determining that all was developing well with no problems.  I questioned if she might be the child of some friends of mine that was to be born in 3 to 5 months.  I told Moma that they are a great couple and will be wonderful parents.  We left that writing considering this a real possibility.   On November 10th. and again on the 17th. Moma wrote that she thinks that my friends are to be her new parents.

On December 1st, 2015 Moma was not here.  M/J wrote that she was with her new body and was to be born about January 21, 2016.  He was sad and confused over Moma’s reincar.  He asked, “What will I do?”  I told him a few options:  Reincar himself, stay here with me, look for other compatible disincar beings.  This seemed to calm him but I expeceted, even though he and Moma frequently did not get along, her loss would be difficult for him.

The 17th. of November, 2015 was the last time Moma and I wrote together.  She had been writing with me since Jeremy brought her to my meditation room in December of 1999—16 years.  I know I was a burden for her.  Though sometimes petulant and disgruntled, she stayed with me for my sake.   I will always be grateful.  I hope and pray I may lovingly repay her in our future.

Expect next post in about 10 days.

 

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Post 8: December, 2015 through June, 2017, Posted June 13, 2018

December, 2015, Moma is with her new, developing body .  M/J is lonely and seems to be exploring.  He acknowledged that there were other beings around him but that he had not really communicated with them.   On Dec. 8th M/J throws out that he would like me to disincar in 2016 so I can reincar as his older brother.  I told him I would prefer to stay incar for the next six years to get some things done and would prefer having him as a brother two to six years older then me who can “run interference” for me if I do have to live as a saint in my next life.

December 28th, 2015,  still no contact with Moma by either M/J or me.  M/J says he will try to contact her.  I did not note if I had asked him to or if he volunteered.  I did ask him to tell her that she is loved.  Then I prayed for God’s love to bless all of our group.

Early January, 2016, M/J remains alone.  He says he is spending his time in worship.  Since he was alone, I assumed that this worship was primarily meditative.

January 19th, 2016, M/J says he had contact with other disincar beings and was “entertained” but did not think any of the beings were part of our group.  Later in that time period he wrote that his “job” was to “undirect.”  I questioned if he meant “redirect” but did not get an answer.  Frequently, M/J would give answers or use words which did not understand because I had no physical or logical reference.   Occasionally I would get an understandable explanation but usually I could only accept and hope for clarification later.

In early February M/J again questioned my disincar in 2016.   I again explained that I had things I still wanted to do, etc.  He indicated that he understood and agreed with my staying until 2022.  I told him that I loved him and he wrote back “I love you.”  It brought back the wonderful feelings and memories of being his father.

On March 2nd, 2016, I noted that my friends’ baby girl had been born.  The last time Mona had been with M/J and me was in late November, 2015.  If, indeed, Moma was reincar as my friends’ daughter, she would have become enmeshed/attached and taken control of her body near the beginning of the third trimester of pregnancy.  That makes sense to me.  By the third trimester a developing body is near “baby complete” (we don’t really stop physically developing and growing until about age 26!) and at a point for the occupying spiritual being to learn how to use it and train it.  I realize that this idea that a spiritual being becomes  “fixed” in a physical body at about the beginning of the third trimester of development is speculation or theory but it fits the reincars that I have witnessed.  I will discuss details of this “theory” in summary blogs.

Possible reincars for M/J were explored over the next two months.  He wanted to reincar then and the Powers That Be seemed to be agreeable.  One in the Dallas area was briefly considered but passed over.  One in Illinois was actively pursued but there were questions.  M/J had a good “gut feeling” about the family but could not get a fix on culture, spiritual level or race.  By early April the relationship progressed to a level that M/J was scheduled to take possession of the body in mid May.  This suggests that the initial contact happened in the second trimester.   The PTB seemed to be supportive but not encouraging.

M/J visited the new body in mid April.  At that time he thought the mother was African-American and the father was Caucasian (Western European.)   I told him I thought that would be a great combination.   However, on April 22nd. M/J wrote that that reincar had been canceled by the PTB.  No reason was given but M/J was okay with the decision.  Later, on April 29th. M/J was told that the baby was not viable but was given no details.   No alternative reincars were suggested  by the PTB.    On May 3, 2016 M/J wrote that now he will not reincar for two more years.

May 16, 2016, M/J here.  He’s had no recent interactions with the PTB.  He had been spending time “worshiping” but more in a “being real”/”present”/ meditative way then sexual.  There was no significant writing over the next couple of months.

July 11, 2016, M/J says that he has been interacting with other disincar beings.  I questioned if they understood disincar vs incar.  M/J says he’s not sure.

From August through December M/J only occasionally expressed interest in reincarnating.  He seemed to spend much of his time “in worship” with friends both female and male.  I questioned if male-male and female-female worship occurs in addition to male-female worship.  He acknowledged that it does but that it is not always accepted by other beings.

On January 20, 2017 I asked M/J about his last family since he remembered them.  He wrote that they are a part of our group and that the purpose of our group is to help us advance past our actions.  This sounds very much like working off our karma.  He also wrote that disincars are concerned about “alignment” which may have to do with fitting into a reincar.

In late February M/J was worshiping with a Mike and in mid February with a Clare.  He noted that worship was best with a partner but did not need to be with a partner.  I asked about sensation for disincars.  He replied that disincars have sight and hearing but not touch, taste or smell.   In previous writing it was questionable if disincar sight and hearing are the same as our physical sight and hearing, and if they are consistent or selective.   He also wrote that there is “feeling” with worship/sex but described associated orgasms as “non ovarian.”    ???

On February 14, 2017 M/J wrote that he was happy and did not desire to reincar.  However, on the 24th. he had been advised that the PTB had identified a new potential family with one child and encouraged him to reincar there.  As usual I asked:  Do the parents love each other and was the pregnancy conceived in love?  M/J answered yes.  However, on March 17th. M/J wrote that he was afraid and did not want to reincar.  I asked him to explain but was unable to follow the answer enough to understand.  To myself I questioned if he had disincar companions that he did not want to leave.  I “prayed” to the PTB to try to reassure M/J.  On the 24th. M/J asked if I wanted him to reincar.  I asked back why would my opinion matter.  He replied, “Because you are the curator.”  Again, I don’t know what he meant.  Perhaps he was acknowledging that in our relationship since his return I have been a data collector, but “curator” is a subtle term for most people and especially for a “ten year old.”  Perhaps, I misread his writing.

On April 7, 2017 M/J thought that the potential reincar was in the first trimester of pregnancy.  He was still hesitant.  On May 2nd. he had been advised that the baby was to be born in late November and he should take position of it in early September which meant that it had just been conceived in late February when the PTB first told M/J about it.  I questioned if this was again my friends whom I thought may the be parents to Moma’s reincar.

Then, on May 9, 2017 M/J wrote that the pregnancy had been terminated by elective abortion.  He wrote that he was not sad or angry but was disappointed.  In a later writing he was both sad and disappointed.  And in our writing his sadness came through.  He wrote more slowly, draggy.  He answered questions only with “yes” and “no”.

This was the first time that I truly understood that in every abortion there are three beings involved:  the mother, the father, and the being waiting to live an incarnate life in a new physical body.  On the issue of abortion I am both prolife and prochoice.  I hate abortion.  Everyone I know hates abortion…even all the prochoicers.  But I want every child to be conceived in love by loving parents.  I want every child to be wanted.  I want every child to be cared for and provided for by the parents, whenever possible, or by a responsible society if the parents are unable.  Unfortunately, that is not the world we live in yet so I will support choice, sex education, effective birth control (including morning after pill), and loving relationships.  I know there are good reasons for “bad” incarnations and will discuss that in the summary blogs, but promoting ‘bad” incarnations suggests  judgement and punishment, and I neither  judge or punish knowingly.

I never asked my friends if they had had a brief pregnancy that they chose to end.  I don’t plan to ever ask them. Knowing the circumstances of their lives at about that time,  I would understand if they had.   They are good, intelligent people who love each other and their toddler.  A decision to terminate a pregnancy would have been made only with serious consideration and heart felt pain.   To all incars who suffered through an abortion and to all disincars who had hoped to join them I pray God’s love and solace.

By May 30th. M/J was again occupying himself in worship with a partner—again sexual in nature.   However, on June 6, 2017 he wrote that he was “down” and again interested in reincar though no suitable opportunities were readily available.

 

 

 

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