On August 11, 2012 newly disincarnate “Jeremy” was brought back to my meditation room by Moma. On August 12th, Moma wrote rather weakly as if tired or distracted. “Jeremy” took the pen but barely moved it. I told him his story about his previous incarnation as Jeremy, his disincarnation (death) and last reincarnation with the understanding that he would remain in that physical body only 10 years. I did find out that his name in his last life had been Michael (? spelled Mihael.) I also began to understand that he had no memory of being “Jeremy,” identifying himself as 10 year old Michael. Over the next few writings I tried calling him Jeremy with little to no response. Thereafter I addressed him as Michael, Mike (his preferred) or Michael-Jeremy. (In the rest of these posts I will refer to him as M/J for Michael-Jeremy.)
From those first days we practiced writing. M/J picked it up quickly. Within a couple of months he evolved from writing right side up from left to right to sideways to writing upside down from right to left. He also appeared to be writing in cursive which, I doubt, a 10 year old would be practiced in. However, in automatic writing the pen stays on the page rather then jumping up and down from letter to letter so all writing appears “cursive.”
On September 7th. Moma and M/J were here but Moma was not okay! M/J was still acting like a 10 year old boy. I had a long talk with (at) M/J explaining that his last physical body had only grown to a 10 year old level before he had to leave it but that his spiritual body was actually a mature being that would be more in the 25 or 26 year old range if physical. And that it is that mature M/J being, that had been known and loved by Moma. I doubt M/J understood most of that, reorientation in or out of a physical body takes time, but it was a beginning. I also had long talks with him about who he and I were/are and our relationship.
On November 8, 2012 the Powers That Be (PTB) advised Moma that she should reincar. Moma had been disincar since October, 1999— 13 years. That seems to be a long time to be disincar (authorities have differing opinions on average time) and the PTB may have been feeling “pushy.” I prayed to the PTB to allow Moma to stay with us unless the reincar they had in mind was the very best for her. On the 15th. reincar was still being planned. I again spoke to the PTB admitting that I was, in part, afraid that without Moma I could not continue my interaction/communication with M/J. I also wanted her to have a really good reincar rather then be pressured into a mediocre reincar because she was overdue. I did resign myself to Moma’s reincar as planned when it continued in process on November 27th. It appeared to be on schedule per our writing on January 31st, 2013. However, by our writing on April 2nd she still had not been introduced to a new physical body. By mid April it was clear that something had gone wrong and that reincar was not happening for Moma. She was not happy.
In late November, 2012 M/J was still in 10 year old boy mode, flustering Moma. I again gave the “mature spiritual body” lecture. However, it seemed to take another 6 months for him to realize his maturity. During these months I found that M/J probably had 2 siblings in his last life. Initially I thought 2 brothers but later decided, and reaffirmed, a brother and a sister. Also he wrote that he had had a “yellow dog”. On May 5, 2013 M/J wrote that he had been happy in his last life and would like to go back.
August 13, 2013 Moma here and now okay with M/J. He was not here and there was some suggestion that he was doing something with the PTB, though that was definitely speculative.
On September 10, 2013 M/J was here complaining of being “bored” and writing that he would like to reincar. Now that he was acting more mature, I advised him to consider an intimate relationship with Moma since that had made them happy during his previous disincarnation. Over the next couple of months they did develop a sexual relationship (“spiritual-sexual” I suppose since “physical” not available) and were, apparently, very active. On November 13th. I made a note that they seemed to be at a level of “tantric oneness!” but I don’t know that that really means anything. They were involved enough that M/J, with his limited 10 year old experience, asked if they could create another being to be their child. I tried to explain that, as far as I knew, that was limited to the physical world. I did not try to discuss the many very interesting questions that his inquiry suggested. I hope to explore some of those in future blogs.
December 15, 2013 M/J and Moma were here and doing okay. They had had no interactions with the PTB and did not want to reincar.
January 28, 2014, I questioned if they were aware of disincar animals but they knew of none.
February 4, 2014, I questioned if they stayed in my meditation room where we wrote when we weren’t writing. They replied that they came only on Tuesday and Thursday evenings when we wrote.
March 4, 2014, they wrote that they feel God’s love when they “worship.” I assumed that by worship they meant sexual union, as in the past, but they could have meant more direct meditation or some other form of worship.
March 11th. Moma not here. It appeared that she and M/J had had some argument or disagreement. I told him about when he had reincarnated as Michael and advised him to make up with Moma On the 13th there was still conflict between the two. I discussed (lectured?) about being a group, family, all for one and one for all, etc. I also advised them to go past their fantasies and expectations and accept reality. In retrospect I see how truly ridiculous that advice was since I had little real knowledge of their disincarnate reality or fantasies or expectations. I was treating Moma like the 28 or 29 year old she had been and M/J like the 10 year old going on 25 he was.
March 20th. Moma and M/J both here and “Okay” but both want to reincar and say they are waiting on the PTB to assign.
March 25th. M/J has gone to meet with the PTB but no reason given to me. On the 27th he is back, says meeting was not about reincar but can’t or won’t tell me more. Moma here and okay. On April 4th. M/J says PTB are concerned about me ! He writes “We Are!” then “not reincarnate or disincarnate—just ARE!” Next, on April 15th. he wrote that the PTB are not upset with me but are afraid of our ongoing relationship. Then on May 15th wrote that he is here only because the PTB directed him to be, that he hates me and wants me to not communicate with him, and added that he loves others, indicating his previous families.
I, naturally, was upset/disturbed by M/J’s anger and tried to understand. We all know that love and hate are opposite sides of the same attachment. I questioned if our attachment was keeping one or both of us from moving on. I questioned if M/J, with no memory of me, simply did not want his life to be interfered with and manipulated by some old incar. I questioned why the PTB wanted him to stay in our relationship. Was it for me or him or were we exploring a profound truth that the PTB wanted revealed in the way we were doing? I even questioned if we were playing in some absurd satanic farce!
The next day, May 16th, 2014, M/J again here. He wrote that he hates me without reason, with no focus. That it is simply hatred within him. He needs to let it out and the PTB think that, since I love him, I can be the focus through which he can let it out. So he was assigned to continue to communicate with me by the PTB. I told him that I wanted him to identify and focus on one thing about me that he hates. That I may hate it too. And together we will work on accepting and changing it. Then I added that differences are what make us individuals and similarities are what gives us the ability to communicate. (Probable BS that I would not try to defend in an argument with a real philosopher but sounded pretty good.)
On May 20th. M/J here. He writes that there is “nothing” he hates about me except that I am incar and he is not and he wants us to all be together. I told him I do too. He thinks he might be able to stay disincar until 2022 when I leave my physical body (more about this in later blogs) but I don’t expect that. On May 27th. M/J says he does not feel hate toward me but agrees to “give me his hate” so I can hold and negate it. On May 29th. he did not feel hatred “as much.” And I realized then that I did not feel as attached to him as I had. For me he had moved from being my beloved son to a friend, brother, partner. I/we had reached a resolution in our relationship!
On June 5th M/J and Moma here and both wrote briefly. I noted that there was a complete change in speed and style of writing from one to the other, Moma’s being more drawn out then M/J’s. There was also a change of feeling in my arm when writers changed.
June 17, 2014 Moma was again not happy in her relationship with M/J. She wrote that he says he loves her and wants to be with her but that he’s different from when he was Jeremy and she does not trust him. She suggests that she may go to the PTB and request a “separation.” On June 19th. she was here, again alone, after another (?) conflict. She wrote that she did not know where M/J was and that she had not contacted the PTB.
June 24th. M/J back and “Okay” but does not want to write about his and Moma;s problems. June 26th both here and “Okay” but not doing well together. I advised they try being supportive of each other but without attachment or needing each other—more like neighbors.
For the next several months M/J and Moma did seem to get along reasonably well in a sort of detente. On July 10th. they were together and okay. On August 14th. together they wrote that they both wanted to reincar. I gave my blessing.
Discussions re Moma’s and M/J’s reincar took up most of the next year and included consideration of my coming disincar/physical death and anticipation of my next reincar. This will require some explaining and personal revelation which I will do at the beginning of my next post.